Busy Being Dizzy

Getting old is not for wimps. That’s what they say, and they speak the truth. Our bodies, which have served us so well for all of our formative years, start thinking of ways to betray us as we age.

Easy on the complaining, however, because for the most part I’m as healthy as a horse. But even a horse gets aches and pains sometimes.

So a week ago, in the middle of the night, I rolled over in bed, and suddenly the world started spinning. It continued throughout the night, but only for a few seconds and only when I rolled over. When I awoke and got out of bed, I was fine, so I assumed I had been dreaming. However, as I leaned over to wet my hair in the sink, the spinning resumed, but again, just for a few seconds.

I immediately diagnosed myself with a horrible and incurable disease, though I had no clue what disease it would be. The always calm and sensible Bill suggested that I Google “vertigo when I lean over.” His practicality can be such a relief to me sometimes. And yet so annoying.

Because you can find anything on the Internet, I immediately learned that there is a condition that is fairly common to people as they age (!!!!!!!) called Benign Something Something Vertigo (BPPV for short because the condition actually doesn’t have “something” in its name). It has something to do with crystals in one’s inner ear breaking loose and rolling about, causing vertigo when you turn a certain way. Really?

I spent the past week waiting for the vertigo to cease. That didn’t seem to happen, so Monday morning I called a family physician whose office I had recently spotted, and saw him yesterday morning. He walked into the room looking at my chart, and said, “I understand you are having some vertigo.” I said yes, and explained my symptoms. I cheerfully told him, “But I got on the Internet and have diagnosed my condition.” You can watch their eyes roll.

“Well, what do you suppose you have?” he asked. (That’s a quote.)

“I have BPPV,” I said.

He begrudgingly acknowledged that he agreed with my diagnosis. He did a couple of tests to rule out anything worse and just to show me he actually is smarter than me, gave me a sheet with some exercises that I need to do for the next week, and sent me on my way. Really, what does he care? I’m insured.

But whoever heard of anything like this? Each and every day, our bodies find ways to pay us back for all of the abuse we gave it over the years.

It is my sincere hope that next time I see any of you, I won’t be walking sideways.

In celebration of my learning that I didn't have a deadly illness, I invited my niece Maggie and her family over for fried chicken. Maggie is a week-and-a-half overdue having her baby, and isn't particularly happy about it. I presumed, correctly I think, that cooking wasn't something about which she was terribly enthusiastic. She'd rather concentrate on getting into and out of a chair. And she loves my fried chicken.

When I fry a chicken, it is a given that I serve it with slow-cooked green beans and Swiss macaroni and cheese. I think I have talked about this macaroni and cheese before. My Swiss grandmother made them. My mom made them. Now I make them. They never had a name. We always just called them macaroni, as in "we're having macaroni for dinner tonight." We all knew what that meant as it was the only way we had macaroni. Since I occasionally make traditional mac and cheese, I have taken to calling it Swiss mac and cheese to differentiate.

A few years ago, to my surprise, Food Network Chef Melissa D'Arabian made something she called Macaronade as part of a French meal she was preparing. It was my grandmother's recipe, or at least a variation thereof. In all my years, I had never imagined that it was something with a name. Anyway, here's Melissa D'Arabian's recipe, with my changes below.

Macaronade

Ingredients
2 tablespoons butter, cut into small cubes, plus more for greasing
8 ounces macaroni
Kosher salt
1/2 cup shredded Swiss or gruyere cheese
1/2 cup beef broth
1/4 cup seasoned breadcrumbs
Freshly ground black pepper

Process
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a gratin dish.
Cook the pasta in salted water according to the package's instructions for al dente. Drain and toss with the cheese and beef broth. Place the pasta in the gratin dish, and top with the breadcrumbs, sprinkle with salt and pepper and dot with the butter. Bake 15 minutes.

Nana's Notes: Here's how I do it: Cook the macaroni according to directions. Drain it, and begin layering it in a large bowl with the shredded Swiss cheese (a lot of cheese). I don't use any beef broth. Put a plate over it so the hot pasta can begin to melt the cheese. In the meantime, brown breadcrumbs in 3-4 T butter. Place the breadcrumbs on top of the macaroni/cheese mix. Put it in the microwave for a minute to help the cheese along. Serve. I never think about putting it in the oven, though I'm sure that's delicious. And of course, my grandmother didn't have a microwave. She may have placed them in an oven for a few minutes. They are really delicious if you like Swiss cheese.